Yes, I thought that. And I had good reason to think an affair would never happen in my marriage. We'd been married for almost 29 years without any instances of cheating from either of us. While our marriage had its rocky points, and we weren't firing on all cylinders, we both felt we loved each other and expressed happiness with our marriage and life. We were both committed Christians with a long-standing moral base.
So what went wrong? Why did my spouse allow this to happen? And most importantly, could this be healed and how?
Like most spouses going through this, those were my first questions. The answers came over months. In fact, healing from the damage and rebuilding our relationship happened unusually fast compared to most. Being a writer, I distilled in articles what I'd learned through the experience. Likewise, my wife learned not only a lot about herself, but what it takes to come back from that level of deception not only to me, but to herself.
All of which has prompted us to share both our own journey and what we've learned through the experience. Every situation is different, but there are a set of common principles that apply to most all situations. Using those, one can apply them to their circumstances. Because this so often is a hidden tragedy, very few are willing to open up to the public at large and let them take a peek into what happens. Which allows more people to be blind-sided by an affair because, like me, they thought it could never happen to them.
To that end, we've written a book detailing our journey through this experience, both how we arrived at, and how we recovered after "discovery day." Then included the many articles I've written with a lot of input from my wife where appropriate covering topics such as:
The book is scheduled to be available in May, 2013, by the 2nd anniversary of our discovery day. Click on the link on the left to find out more about the book.
Additionally, we are providing free of charge a support forum where you can not only find help and support in dealing with these issues, but also interact directly with the authors of the book. Click on the button on the left labeled "Forum" to access that site.
It is our sincere hope that we can be a help to couples struggling through this experience, and that these resources will help you to not only rebuild your marriage, but establish a thriving relationship where trust can grow and be nurtured once again.
Rick & Lenita Copple